Hang’n out in the Midwest
July 22, 2010 Category: Albino Bowler No Comments »
Over the 4th of July weekend my husband Terry and three children, Max, Emmy and Maggie made the drive to my hometown of Columbia, Missouri for a surprise visit to my mother. I have 4 sisters, and they all made the trip as well, making it the first time we’ve all been at home together in a couple of years. Of course, when Dan mentioned that the Albino Bowler had yet to visit the Midwest, I thought this would be the perfect introduction to people with fine values, unmatched hospitality, and unblemished spoken English.
As we were driving from St. Louis to Columbia, I was trying desperately to think of somewhere that the Albino Bowler could be photographed to represent Missouri. All I could see for miles was corn and
soybean fields, as one of Missouri’s main industries is agriculture. So we stopped to snap a shot of Emmy with the Albino Bowler and soy crops as far as the eye can see. Then something occurred to me as I was snapping a photo of vegetation–this could be a really boring trip for the AB. The destination was not an exciting place, at least not on the level of China or Greece or Nicaragua, so we were going to have to improvise with activities and people.
The first activity was horseback riding. While the Clydesdales in St. Louis were off filming a beer commercial, My Little Pony was a cheerful alternative. The AB was secure in his masculinity riding his pink mare with yellow hair and big, pretty eyes. I even overheard him exclaim “I’m on a horse” once or twice while trying to remove his green bowling jersey.
Needing a little more action, the Albino Bowler dialed the X-factor up a notch when he discovered Max’s sweet Kawasaki Ninja ride. After ripping around the soy fields and then through the streets of Columbia, nearly missing a brush with the law, his ride was cut short. The Bowler was using the only toy Max brought with him on the journey from Tennessee. Max doesn’t like to share.
I mentioned earlier that the purpose of the trip was to spend time with family, namely my sisters. The Albino Bowler had the opportunity to meet my four younger sisters, their children, my aunts, uncles, cousins, mother, grandfather and Grannie Lavonne, who all converged on my mother’s home for an impromptu family reunion. He really enjoyed how close we all are, though he was glad that all of the kids riding in his car back to Tennessee are above the age of 3.
The 4th of July wouldn’t be complete without fireworks. We went to the Mizzou football stadium, home of the Tigers, to watch a great display. We thought the Bowler was with us and that we could get a fantastic photograph, but being the cool guy that he is, the Albino Bowler was back at home making his own fireworks. He used his social media networking skills to meet up with other plastics in town, namely Barbie and her friends.
Since this was a family trip, we will end the story there. While the location may not have been a travel hot-spot, it was great quality time with the Barnett (maiden name) family in Missouri. Happy Travels!
– Becky Finnegan
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